Good night mummy, you know…, you’re my favorite demon…

Mummy, can you tell me the story about how you parasitise my mind and coax me to repress my feelings?

Yes, my dear, you really like that story, don’t you? Well, it started when I gave birth to you and your twin sister, and your father left me for another. I repressed a lot of pain and after about two years, there was so much fear in my system, that it drowned my ability to feel empathy and compassion, and everything was reduced to the tactics of survival.

To ensure that you and your sister never left me, like so many men had done in the past, and my father too, I started to turn you and your sister against your father, by telling lies about him, and I instilled guilt into you, so that you would not betray me in the future, and always see your father as less than your mother.

Then I turned you against your sister and vice versa, to make you compete for my attention and approval, because the guilt is galvanized and easily manipulated when the hunt for external love always dominates the perception of humans.

The thoughts of the perception of the concept of `family` was programmed into you and your sister, as soon as I could communicate with you, and nothing can conquer your relationship with your mummy, no matter what anyone else tries to tell you.

Oh mummy, that is so exciting! Oh! Can you tell me the story about how the churches control the people too! I love that one! No dear, that is enough for now, just enjoy this night, when you can rest in your soft, warm bed, because tomorrow night you might be sleeping in the cellar again, with the stench of mould and the squeaking of the rats.

Yes, mummy, I really hope I can beat my sister tomorrow, she is really good at memorizing the bible, do you think I will win tomorrow mummy? Ha-ha! You better! You lost twelve competitions in a row last month, how difficult can it be to memorize texts in a book? You have spent so much time in the cellar, it’s a miracle that you are alive. I had no idea that humans can live on breadcrumbs and water for so long.

The next morning. Good morning mummy, you know…, you’re my favorite angel. What are you doing mummy? Why are you carrying me out of the bed? I can walk on my own you know…, and why are you carrying me out of our house? Mummy! Look at me! I can fly! Look at all the angels around us, they’re so shiny, and you too, mummy, you’re an angel too! I knew it! I always knew you’re an angel mummy! Mummy, can you hear me? Mummy?

Why are you digging a hole in the garden? Oh, look mummy, I can see myself lying in the grass! But…, I’m flying too! I’m so happy and I’m not hungry anymore mummy, it feels so good! Why are you crying mummy? Look at me mummy. Look at me. Can you hear the angels? Can you hear them sing? Mummy, I will whisper this song in your ear every time you go to sleep. I’m happy now Mummy! Don’t cry mummy, you’re my favorite angel, you’ll always be my favorite angel!

The song of the angels:

So deep into darkness you ventured,

Because we needed someone to shine a light,

Into the place where children are captured.

One child has gone to heaven,

And the other will bring heaven to earth,

Her sister will survive and tell the world,

That a lonely heart builds the darkest church.

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