The shadow lives in the nooks and crannies of your disorganized thoughts. If you run from negative thoughts, it is because you think that the thoughts that represents the feeling of weakness are true.
When you attack or defend against thoughts of judgement, you believe that you must defend the secret, that the judgment is actually correct, so you fight to survive the attack of the shadow-judge that judged you. You feel guilty so you must defend against punishment.
When you have finished the study of illusions, you will naturally start to observe neutrally and lovingly. When a thought appears in your mind, still feeding from the momentum of many years of habitual identification, you simply look at it. There is no running or attacking, there is only orientation, you observe and notice the negative nature of the thought.
The shadow cleverly comes to coax you to identify with sorrow, either weakness or guilt, perhaps anger, but now you see the mechanics of it, and you are ready to anchor yourself in love, rather than illusion.
Despite the painful feeling you are sensing in your system and despite the thoughts that are designed to make you identify with those feelings, you remain calm, you do not run or attack, you remain clam, anchored in love, as you enter the shadow of illusion.
When you are anchored in love and acceptance and you are open and willing to transmute the illusion, it will happen.
Observe, enter, transmute.
Soon this will become the new habit, replacing the habit of negative thinking, and thusly you become a tool of love for the world.